You rub more, and still more,
  Until you get more than you ever bargained for
  There's no shame, to attain,
  I've seen your twin come many times before

        Writhing on your bed again
        What will you have now?

  When your itches unfold,
  Make you try for that contraction
  For there's no Him to control
        For a wife with that contraption
  There's no conniption so bold
        that can heal you like contraction

  Well you glide and you slide,
  And let your blissful ointment make you hot inside.
  You won't shout, you reach down,
  Still you're the only one you care about.

        Riding on your back for O's
        What do you feel now?

  For there is nothing so sad
        as a life without contraction
  And if your stud has turned bad,
        Make a flood with your contraptions
  And you don't need steely dan
        When you did not have contraction

        Sighing on your bed to strain
        What will you have now?

  You'll get no humping from me,
        You will only feel contraction
  And if that's what you need,
        I will give you some vibration
  Just don't forget about me
        'cause we all need some contraction

  Open up and start
        so you can partly feel contraction
  Get down on your knees,
        and pray for seven more contractions
  Every lady needs distraction

  Oooooh, oooooohh..

  If you want me to squeal
        then you know i've got to feel contraction

  oooooh, oooooohh..